Paul F, Frontiero III
February 23, 1985 – October 9, 2011
Growing up, Paul and I were inseparable. From birthday parties in elementary school, to silly childish games on the bus, and holidays at each other’s family homes, Paul was by my side. Sure, we had moments apart, as all preteens and teenagers do while they navigate through life, but at 16, we were solid. That was my best friend. My person. My Doodle. My Paul. We rented apartments together, rescued two awesome dogs and went on crazy adventures. We listened to each other’s troubles, gave advice regarding our different relationships, and supported each other along the way. Paul was my rock.
October 9, 2011. The date that my whole life changed forever. We had a costume party, just like most people during the month of Halloween. Little did I know that by the end of the night, Paul would be gone forever.
While I have relived that night so many times for the last ten years, I won’t go into those details. I don’t want this to be about how he died.
Paul was a hero. He worked as an EMT, wanted to become a paramedic, volunteered in the NICU in various hospitals, went on medical missions with his grandfather to the Dominican Republic, loved his family more than life, and was a faithful and devoted friend.
I turned to many unhealthy coping mechanisms for many years. I contemplated dropping out of mortuary school, drank way too much, made poor choices, contemplated hurting myself, didn’t take care of body or mind, and was very angry. It took me years to piece my life together. Until I finally asked myself the question: what would Paul say to me? What would he think about the choices I was making? I knew I had to be better, for Paul, my family, and myself. I started the slow process of cleaning up my life. This process continues to this day.
Every day, I ask myself, “what would Paul say if he were here?” He would tell me to cut the crap and be better. He would tell me to smile, and that I’m stronger than I believe I am (as he had said so many times). He would find a way to make me laugh, ending with “who does that, seriously!?!” Then he would brush the tears off my face and push me forward.
No matter what, he is always with me. He’s all around me in the things he and I enjoyed, our dogs, our families, and friends. He is the energy in the world I still exist in. Without him, I wouldn’t even be the me I am today, so that means I carry him always within me.
The people we miss love us always.
“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think,” -Christopher Robin
— Traci Denver, Life Forest’s Director of Burial Services
